For many of us, family is the cornerstone of our lives. We share a wealth of experiences with our families, from the joyous and momentous to the mundane and every day. And yet, despite all of this connection and familiarity, there are some who feel very little closeness to their families.
Sometimes, people may say that they hate their families because of everything from infighting to simply not liking the individuals involved.
While they may fill family relationships with tension and conflict, this does not mean that we hate our families. Often, our feelings towards them are a combination of both love and annoyance. We may love our parents but resent their overbearing meddling or constantly feel like we’re on the outs with our siblings.
There is no right or wrong way to feel about our families; what matters is how we choose to interact with them. It’s up to each individual to work through any anger or hatred that they might feel in order to build stronger connections within their families in the future.
When we think about our parents, it is easy to see them as being completely responsible for all the things that have gone wrong in our lives. After all, they are the ones who raised us and shaped us into the people we are today.
But what if they weren’t actually evil? Instead, perhaps their faults were simply the result of their own childhood experiences, which they didn’t really understand or know how to deal with.
Maybe they treated us unfairly or neglected us because those were behaviors they had learned from their own parents. And perhaps if we can forgive them for their shortcomings and accept them as they are, we can overcome some barriers that have been preventing us from reaching our full potential.
You may say to yourself, they were just very damaged people trying, in their own way, to do what they could. It seemed back then that they were authoritative, in control, and out to get us, but that was not the case.
Growing up as a child of neglectful or abusive parents is certainly no easy task. From a young age, they burden you with feelings of anger, sadness, and frustration, both towards your parents for failing to care for you properly and towards yourself for being unable to stand up to them.
You may find yourself feeling sorry for your parents at times, wondering if they had the emotional capacity to do better, but ultimately coming up empty-handed in that regard
And through it all, the question of whether you deserved better hangs over your head like a dark cloud.
Ultimately, there is no easy way to navigate life as a child raised by incapable parents. But one thing is certain: you deserve more than what you got.
You are a resilient person who has made it this far against incredible odds. So keep fighting and never lose sight of the fact that you are worthy of love and happiness in every aspect of your life. After all, anything less than that just isn’t good enough.
Be in touch with rage and anger
Rage and anger are incredibly powerful emotions, but they are often misunderstood and feared. Many people try to avoid these feelings, either consciously or unconsciously, believing that they should be repressed in order to live a more harmonious life.
However, I believe it is important not only to acknowledge these deeply felt emotions but to embrace them. In fact, I would even argue that rage and anger can be a significant starting point for inner exploration and growth.
By being in touch with our rage and anger, we can better understand the other facets of our emotional landscapes. In particular, we gain insight into any lingering hurts or traumas from our childhoods that have the potential to color our perceptions and relationships as adults.
And through this deep inquiry into ourselves, we may eventually find ourselves free from the shackles of these painful emotions. After all, knowing where we come from is an essential first step on the path toward healing and wholeness.
So let us not be afraid of our rage and anger; instead, let us cherish them as crucial tools for self-discovery and transformation.
Move beyond your parents
Moving beyond our parents may seem like an intimidating prospect, but it is ultimately within our reach. While the care and attention that we received in our early years can be hard to let go of, we are, by nature, fully equipped to parent ourselves.
This means that we can provide ourselves with comfort and support in moments of difficulty, as well as the resources and resilience to persevere through challenges and adversity.
We have a range of unique experiences and personalities within us, making us well-equipped to soothe our more fragile and anxious parts. Despite any challenges or setbacks that we may face, we can move beyond our parents in both mind and spirit.
So don’t let those early years hold you back; instead, embrace your innate ability to thrive on your own terms!
After all, whether we like it or understand it, they are undeniably an integral part of who we are. And really, isn’t that something worth working towards changing?