At some point in our lives, everything changes. A job goes away, a relationship comes to an end, a new opportunity presents itself, or even just a new season begins. At times like these, it can be easy to feel like you’re losing yourself in the process of growing and changing. Many people especially struggle with this during mid-life transitions like graduating from college and leaving home for the first time, getting married, or starting a family – when your world shifts and your responsibilities change overnight. And while change can be scary at first (who wants to leave their old safe life behind?), it’s also an important part of growing as a person. These tips will help you stay who you are when everything changes.
Remember who you are, and why that’s important
You might feel you don’t know who you are right now, but that’s just part of growing and changing. Your core identity doesn’t disappear, it’s just being covered up as you adjust and adapt to new circumstances. Before you know it, you’ll be a different person than you are now. You might have a new job, a new relationship, new friends, and a new place to call home. But that doesn’t mean who you are as an individual is gone. It just means you’re growing, you’re adapting. And it’s important to remember who you are and why that’s important. Why does it matter if you’re forgetting who you are? Because you’re forgetting your values, your passions, and even your personality traits that make you who you are. You’re also forgetting who you want to be. You don’t want to become another person in the process of growth and change.
Take care of yourself
When everything is new in life, it’s easy to feel you don’t have time to take care of yourself. Your new job will always be more important than going to the gym. Your new spouse always needs your attention more than any self-care. And your new baby will always come first. These are just facts of life. But if you don’t make time for yourself, you’ll eventually burn out. And then you won’t be able to take care of anyone because you’ll be too busy taking care of yourself. And even though you’ll always be busy, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to take care of yourself. It’s a priority. If you’re graduating from college and leaving the safety and security of your parents’ house, remember to take care of yourself, too. You’re entering a new phase of life, with new responsibilities and expectations, and you need to meet those with a full tank.
Find your purpose
If you’re going through a big change, you’re probably feeling a lot of pressure to figure out what you want to do with your life. At a certain point, it’s important to stop and ask yourself what your purpose is. What do you want to be known for? What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? And even if you have a job, that doesn’t mean you know your purpose. Many people find their job is not what they want to do with the rest of their lives. They’re just doing it until they can find something better. This can make you feel you don’t know who you are, and it can lead to lots of stress.
Be proud of where you’ve been
As you go through a big change, it’s easy to forget how far you’ve come in your life. You can forget what you overcame, what you learned, and what you’re proud of. And this can cause you to lose sight of who you are in the process. And it’s important to remember all the experiences that brought you here — even the bad ones. A bad breakup taught you about yourself, and what you want and don’t want in a relationship. A layoff from your job helped you learn what you’re good at and what you love to do. And when you forget all the good that’s come from your past, it’s hard to know who you are. You might not realize what makes you proud is the same thing that has always made you proud. And you might wonder if those are still the things that make you who you are.
Find the opportunity in change
Change can be scary, but it can also be an opportunity to grow and learn. And while it’s normal to feel sad and nostalgic while you’re going through a big life change, it’s important not to get stuck there. You need to learn to see the opportunity to change. You might not want to leave your old job behind, graduate from college, or leave home, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find value in the experience. If you’re graduating from college, you’re leaving behind years of comfort and familiarity. You’re leaving behind the safety of your parents’ house, an old job, and even an old relationship. You’re moving into a whole new phase of life with new experiences and new people. And while change can make you nostalgic for the past, it’s important to focus on what you can gain from the present moment.
Build new habits to help shake up your life
Sometimes you need to shake up your life to shake up your thinking. You might need to change your environment, the people you spend time with, or even your daily routine to shake free of the nostalgia that comes with making big changes. At some point, you need to stop thinking so much about the things you’re leaving behind and look ahead at what’s coming next. And sometimes, that’s easier said than done. New habits can help you shake up your life and your thinking. Maybe you go to the gym every morning, read a new book, or even change your commute to work to shake free of the nostalgia that comes with graduating and leaving home.
Change can be scary and sad. And it’s easy to forget who you are and what makes you proud in the process. These tips will help you stay who you are when everything changes and help you see the opportunity in change.
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Life Coach Nancy
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